Over the past decade, my mental health journey has been a rollercoaster for both me and my family. Restarting my blog serves two important purposes: to document my personal journey to process and reflect, and to create a collection of stories for my children to read in the future. These stories will help them understand the struggles their dad faced and, hopefully, learn from them. There’s a good chance they may go through similar experiences, so equipping them with these insights now might be helpful down the line.

Throughout this journey, I’ve been prescribed countless medications, spent hours with psychologists, and even more with my psychiatrist. I’ve undergone marriage counseling and attended numerous appointments with my family doctor. Over the course of my journey, I was recently diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. This diagnosis didn’t happen overnight; it took years of working with mental health professionals to understand what was going on in my mind. For many of us with bipolar II, depression tends to occur more frequently than manic episodes. This is where the term “manic depression” originates.

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that bipolar disorder can shorten life expectancy by an average of 9.2 years, and that up to one in five individuals with the condition tragically take their own lives. I’ve come to understand that bipolar disorder is a serious illness and often misunderstood.

I’m not sharing this to seek sympathy or have anyone feel sorry for me. My hope in sharing my experiences is to encourage at least one person to reach out for help. It’s been a frightening journey, but one I’ve never had to face alone. The support of family and friends is crucial when dealing with any serious health issue, especially with mental health, where understanding the nuances of different diagnoses is key. Mental health isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. If you’re struggling, I urge you to talk to someone you trust and make an appointment with your doctor. As the old Chinese proverb says, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

So, what’s next? After years of struggling to understand what was going on in my brain, I finally have answers and a plan in place. This doesn’t make everything better and disappear, but I now have a plan. My plan includes medication, therapy, and regular appointments with my psychiatrist to make sure I stay on track. While it doesn’t necessarily make everything easier, having a clear plan gives me hope and helps me wake up each day with the belief that a better day is possible. The love and support of my family also gives me the strength to move forward with a positive mindset.

If I’ve seemed distant or different lately, it’s because I have changed. I’m not the same person I was ten years ago, or even a year ago. And a year from now, I’ll be a different person again. Life has a way of throwing challenges our way, and when it does, you take the hit, adjust, and keep moving forward as best as you can. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please reach out to someone. And if you feel like there’s no one, you’re mistaken. If you’re still reading this, you have me, and I’m here for you. You’re not alone, just like I’m not alone.