mental health

Book Summary – “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression” (Blog #18)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

Depression is a beast. It doesn’t care about your plans, your goals, or your past achievements. It just shows up, uninvited, and slowly wraps its claws around your life. But it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. That’s the message from Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression, a no-nonsense guide by Robert Duff, who cuts through the noise and talks to you like a friend who gets it. He doesn’t sugarcoat things—he gets straight to the point: Depression sucks, but you can fight it.

Recognizing Depression: It’s More Than Just Feeling Down

First off, Duff sets the record straight: Depression isn’t just feeling sad. It’s a real, physical illness, and it’s not all in your head. It affects both your mind and your body. To be diagnosed with depression, mental health professionals look for a combination of symptoms, like feeling down all the time, losing interest in activities, changes in weight or sleep patterns, and a general lack of energy. But not everyone experiences these symptoms the same way. You might not even recognize depression in yourself right away, especially if you’re feeling more irritable or detached than outright sad. Depression can sneak up on you, and it doesn’t always look the same for everyone.

Duff makes it clear that, while depression may feel isolating, you are not just a checklist of symptoms. Understanding that depression can manifest differently is key to realizing that it’s not a personal failure—it’s a real health issue.

Behavioral Activation: Just Do It

One of the most powerful tools Duff introduces is behavioral activation. In simple terms, it’s about doing things—just doing them. He acknowledges that when you’re depressed, even the smallest tasks can feel like monumental challenges, but pushing through these feelings is crucial. To get started, Duff recommends an exercise: list ten activities that once brought you joy, then rate them by the effort they require and the level of joy they provide. By subtracting these numbers, you end up with a clearer understanding of what activities will give you the most joy for the least effort.

The key here is to be reasonable. Depression will tell you that these activities are a waste of time, that you should just give up. But Duff encourages you to ignore that voice and move forward anyway. Schedule your day, even hour by hour, and stick to it. Start with small wins—like getting out of bed, making your bed, or taking a short walk—and gradually build up to bigger tasks. Over time, these small actions start to snowball, helping you break the cycle of inertia and reintroduce pleasure into your life.

Your Brain Is a Troll: Change How You Think

Depression often distorts our thinking, making us see the world through “shitty glasses,” as Duff puts it. Your brain, when depressed, acts like a troll that constantly tells you that things are hopeless. But the good news is you don’t have to listen to it. By documenting your thoughts and reactions, you can catch yourself falling into those negative spirals. Writing things down allows you to observe patterns, spot cognitive distortions (like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking), and challenge those thoughts.

Duff emphasizes that these negative thoughts are not rational—they are distortions that can be overcome with practice and patience. Mapping out your mental “monsters” (the harmful, negative thoughts) allows you to see them coming from a distance. By facing them head-on, you can start to engage with them less and less, making it easier to push back against the depressive thoughts when they arrive.

Small Actions Lead to Big Changes

One of the central ideas in the book is that you don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Depression can feel overwhelming, and the thought of tackling everything at once can paralyze you. But, as Duff explains, taking small steps is key. Even the tiniest of actions—like getting out of bed, taking a shower, or stepping outside—can help you break free from the grip of depression. Each little step you take builds momentum, helping you feel more in control and capable of handling bigger challenges.

By focusing on these small, manageable actions, you reduce the overwhelming nature of depression. It’s like learning how to crawl before you walk, and walk before you run. Once you start moving, even if it’s just a little bit, the sense of accomplishment will help chip away at the isolation and apathy that depression often brings.

Self-Compassion: Be Kind to Yourself

One of the hardest things about depression is the way it makes you treat yourself. It’s easy to become your harshest critic when you’re depressed, but Duff urges readers to practice self-compassion. Depression doesn’t make you weak—it’s a challenge, not a failure. Learning to be kind to yourself, even when you’re struggling, can help foster healing and growth. Self-compassion is a powerful tool in combating the shame and guilt that often accompany depression.

Medication, Therapy, and Support Systems

Duff doesn’t shy away from acknowledging that, for many, therapy and medication are essential parts of managing depression. While these aren’t quick fixes or miracle cures, they can be incredibly helpful tools on the road to recovery. He encourages readers to seek professional help and to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Additionally, building a support network is crucial. Isolation can worsen depression, and having friends or family who understand and support you can make a world of difference.

Conclusion: You’re Not Alone in This Fight

Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression doesn’t offer any easy answers, but it gives you the tools and mindset you need to start the fight. Depression is a tough opponent, but you don’t have to face it alone. By taking small steps, challenging your negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional help, you can start to break free from its grip. It’s a battle, but it’s one you can win, one small action at a time.

Remember: Depression doesn’t define you. You’re more than your symptoms. Keep fighting, and take it one day at a time.

The Let Them Theory Book Summary: A Path to Empowerment and Personal Freedom (Blog #17)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

In our fast-paced, interconnected world, it’s easy to feel as if we’re constantly being influenced by the opinions, expectations, and actions of others. Yet, when you step back and look closely, you’ll realize that other people only hold power over you if you allow it. That’s the essence of the Let Them Theory—a philosophy that empowers you to reclaim control over your time, energy, and peace of mind. It’s about choosing the love, freedom, and respect that you truly deserve, all by releasing yourself from the unproductive power struggle with others.

At its core, the Let Them Theory is about acceptance. It’s not about giving in or letting people walk all over you. It’s about acknowledging that there are things beyond your control, and once you stop fighting what cannot be changed, you free yourself from unnecessary stress and worry. The phrase “let them” is a powerful reminder: if someone is going to make a choice, take an action, or hold an opinion that doesn’t align with your desires or values, it’s okay to step back and let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to change something that you can’t control.

The Power of Letting Go

One of the most freeing aspects of the Let Them Theory is the idea that your peace of mind is not contingent on other people’s choices or behaviors. Think about it: when you try to change someone else, whether it’s their attitude, actions, or opinions, you’re essentially setting yourself up for frustration. People will do what they do, and there’s little you can do to stop them. The more you try to force a change, the more anxious and drained you’ll become. You’re expending energy in an endless cycle of stress, and for what? To change something you never had control over in the first place?

Instead, imagine yourself on a seesaw. On one side, you have your reactions—positive, neutral, or negative. On the other side, you have the actions or behaviors of others. If you react negatively, the seesaw tips down, and you’re weighed down by stress and frustration. But if you choose to respond neutrally or positively, you keep the seesaw balanced. Your reaction determines how much power you give to the other person’s actions. If you don’t give them power, you stay balanced, calm, and in control.

The Freedom to Focus on What You Can Control

By saying “let them,” you release yourself from the need to control or even respond to others’ behavior. This doesn’t mean you stop caring or become indifferent—it means you prioritize your energy and your peace of mind. Focus on what you can control: your actions, your reactions, your choices. Time and energy are your most precious resources. If you let others’ behavior drain them, you’re losing something that cannot be replaced.

This philosophy is not just about big, life-altering decisions; it’s about the little things too. For instance, not every email needs a response. Not every comment or action from someone else warrants your emotional investment. When you let go of the need to react to everything, you free up mental space to focus on what truly matters.

Stress, Fight-or-Flight, and the Power of Choice

When you constantly react to the actions of others, your body enters a state of stress. The brain goes into “fight-or-flight” mode, constantly on alert for threats—whether real or perceived. This continual state of stress can lead to anxiety, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. The Let Them Theory offers a remedy: when you release the need to control others, you release the stress response. By saying “let them,” you stop the cycle of stress and reclaim control over your emotional and physical well-being.

The more you invest your time and energy in things beyond your control, the more your experience of life becomes shaped by other people’s actions. Instead, take charge of where you place your energy. Focus on what you can do to improve your life, and let others make their choices. By doing so, you stay grounded in your own truth, maintaining the focus needed to achieve your full potential.

Releasing the Need for Approval

One of the greatest traps we fall into is the desire to please everyone. But the truth is, no matter how hard you try, you cannot control how others perceive you. People will always have opinions, and not all of them will be positive. Instead of bending over backward to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be, consider the freedom in simply saying, “Let them think what they want.”

The Let Them Theory allows you to let go of the weight of others’ expectations. It creates space for self-acceptance, where you can live your truth without being bogged down by the judgments or actions of others. It also cultivates a mindset of detachment—letting go of the emotional charge and stepping into someone else’s shoes to see their perspective.

Embrace Your Potential, Live Your Life

If you constantly let the fear of judgment or rejection dictate your decisions, you limit your own potential. You shrink away from opportunities, avoiding risks because you’re afraid of what others will think. But you have one precious life—why let the opinions of others keep you from living it to the fullest?

It’s not your responsibility to manage other adults’ emotions. You are responsible for your own, and for helping your children navigate their experiences. It’s not your job to control how other people feel or react. When you realize this, you free yourself to make decisions that align with your truth, even if they disappoint others along the way.

The key here is understanding that life isn’t about managing or controlling the cards you’re dealt. It’s about how you play them. When you stop comparing yourself to others—whether by looking up at those who seem to have it better or down at those you feel superior to—you stop turning life into a competition. Your success comes from showing up, doing the work, and playing the hand you’ve been given, rather than wishing for a different set of cards.

Conclusion: Reclaim Your Power

Ultimately, the Let Them Theory is about empowerment. It’s about recognizing that you are in control of your own experience. Your time, energy, and peace of mind are yours to protect. When you choose to let go of the need to control others or to gain their approval, you free yourself to pursue the life you truly want.

Saying “let them” isn’t about quietness; it’s about reclaiming your power. It’s about making intentional choices that serve your well-being, even if it means disappointing someone else. When you live life on your own terms, with a deep sense of self-worth and acceptance, you’ll find that you’re living with more peace, purpose, and potential than ever before.

The Let Them Theory isn’t just a mindset—it’s a way of life. It’s about doing what’s right for you, regardless of what others think. It’s about choosing freedom, letting go of unnecessary stress, and stepping into a life that makes you proud.

Everything is F*cked: A Summary of the Book by Mark Manson (Blog #16)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

Everything is F*cked: A Summary of the Book by Mark Manson

In a world where technological advancements and comfort are more accessible than ever, it may seem surprising that many people are feeling more disconnected and hopeless. This paradox is at the heart of Mark Manson’s book, “Everything is Fcked: A Book About Hope”. Manson explores the deep emotional and psychological forces at play in modern life, arguing that despite living in an era of unprecedented freedom and opportunity, people are increasingly struggling with despair and a loss of meaning.

Manson’s central thesis is simple yet profound: hope is fundamental to the human psyche. However, hope is not the simple wishful thinking that we often associate with positive outcomes—it’s the very foundation of human action, motivation, and survival. But hope, as Manson explains, is fragile and easily distorted, which is why people often feel overwhelmed by despair even when life should be improving.

The Two Brains: Thinking and Feeling

One of the most important concepts Manson discusses is the division between the “thinking brain” and the “feeling brain.” The thinking brain is the logical, rational part of our mind that analyzes data, plans for the future, and solves problems. It’s the voice of reason that guides us through decision-making and helps us navigate life’s complexities. On the other hand, the feeling brain is the emotional, instinctual part of our psyche that governs our desires, fears, and motivations. It drives us to act quickly based on emotion, often bypassing logical analysis in favor of emotional responses.

While many of us believe that the thinking brain is in charge, Manson argues that the feeling brain is actually in control most of the time. We are emotionally driven, and our feelings shape our actions, often without us realizing it. Emotion sparks action, and action, in turn, sparks more emotion. This feedback loop can either lead to growth or chaos, depending on how well we manage it.

The thinking brain, although incapable of directly controlling the feeling brain, can influence it. It acts as the navigator, guiding us toward better choices and solutions, but it’s often trapped by biases and irrational thought patterns. The key to managing our emotions and making better decisions, Manson suggests, is to recognize when the feeling brain is in charge and consciously redirect our focus back to rational thinking.

Like a muscle, both the thinking and feeling brain require regular exercise and practice to function effectively. The feeling brain, though essential for motivation, tends to overreact in stressful situations, which is why emotional regulation is so important. Manson believes that self-control is an illusion—instead of trying to control ourselves entirely, we must learn to work with our emotional impulses, understanding their role without being overwhelmed by them.

Hope and Faith: The Pillars of Religion and Meaning

Hope, according to Manson, is intimately connected to religion and belief systems. In an increasingly secular world, people often turn to various forms of “religion” to find meaning and comfort. But Manson expands the definition of religion to include not just traditional belief systems but also ideologies, communities, and personal narratives that give our lives meaning. All forms of hope and faith are built on belief, whether it’s a belief in a higher power, a political ideology, or the simple faith that we can improve our lives through hard work.

Manson categorizes religions into three types:

  1. Spiritual religions: These focus on transcendent beliefs, aiming to connect individuals with a higher power or a deeper truth. Spiritual religions often emphasize enlightenment, inner peace, and the search for meaning beyond the physical world (e.g., Buddhism, Christianity).
  2. Ideological religions: These revolve around systems of thought or worldviews that address moral, political, or social structures. Whether religious or secular, these ideologies offer a framework for understanding the world and guiding human action (e.g., Marxism, Libertarianism).
  3. Interpersonal religions: These are based on relationships and community. They emphasize love, connection, and belonging, focusing on the bonds people share with others (e.g., family, friendships, or even the connections people form in online communities).

In the book, Manson argues that these “religions” shape how people seek meaning and make sense of their lives. In the absence of traditional religious structures, people are increasingly creating new belief systems—whether personal, political, or social—that fulfill similar needs for comfort, connection, and hope. Manson points out that hope is at the core of all religious systems, whether it’s the hope for salvation, a better society, or a more meaningful life.

The Three Fundamental Pillars of Hope

For Manson, hope is not merely a vague wish for a better future; it’s a vital psychological tool that shapes our actions and outcomes. He breaks down the essential components of hope into three critical pillars:

  1. Have something to look forward to: This is the first step in cultivating hope. Humans need goals, aspirations, and a sense of purpose. Without these, life can feel directionless and unfulfilling. Hope comes from believing in a better future, whether that’s through personal growth, career achievements, or contributions to society.
  2. Believe in our own agency: Hope is also rooted in the belief that we have some control over our own fate. While life is unpredictable and often chaotic, the sense that we can make choices and influence outcomes gives us the courage to act. This belief in agency is what pushes us to face adversity and continue striving even when things seem hopeless.
  3. Find a community to share the journey with: Finally, hope thrives when we are connected with others. Whether through family, friendships, or larger social movements, a sense of belonging is crucial. People who feel isolated or disconnected often struggle to maintain hope, while those who feel supported by a community are more likely to take risks, face challenges, and achieve their goals.

Conclusion: Hope Is Suffering, but It’s Also Freedom

Ultimately, Manson concludes that hope is suffering—because it requires us to confront the uncertainty and impermanence of life. But hope is also a form of freedom, because it allows us to create meaning and shape our own destinies. We don’t have to hope for a better life—we can live one. Rather than waiting for external circumstances to change, we have the power to create our own outcomes through the choices we make every day.

This shift in perspective—recognizing that we are not helpless in the face of life’s challenges—forms the foundation of Manson’s message in “Everything is Fcked”. By cultivating hope through action, belief, and community, we can navigate the complexities of modern life and find meaning, even in a world that often seems overwhelming and uncertain.

My Career Journey: A Resume Told Through Stories (Blog #15)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

My Career Journey: A Resume Told Through Stories

When I was just ten years old, I found myself stepping into the world of work with the Ontario Teen Program (OTP). I walked door-to-door, selling chocolates, tea, peanut brittle, and various other items. I earned a dollar for each sale—a small amount, but at the time, it felt like a lot and it added up. This early venture into sales wasn’t just about the money; it was about the experience and the opportunity that would later shape my career. The OTP even took us on a trip to Disney World in Florida, where our boss kept track of our earnings to cover the cost of the trip. I was the last to sign up, but the first to pay it all off. They called me “Baby Face Ricky” because I was young and good at selling—traits that would serve me well throughout my career.

After my time with OTP, I moved on to Easttown Pizza, which had been voted the World’s Best Pizza in Vegas. I started as a dishwasher, but my drive and eagerness helped me quickly climb the ranks to pizza maker. From there, I transitioned to Outback Steakhouse as the “Blooming Onion Guy.” Yes, that was my official title! I spent my days creating those delicious, crispy onions, and went home smelling great after every shift. Over time, I worked my way up through the kitchen to assistant kitchen manager.

But I wasn’t done exploring my career options just yet. I wanted something different, something outside of the kitchen. So, I took a leap and landed a job at the London Hospital’s vivarium, where I worked with animals for medical testing. It was an unusual job, but it taught me the importance of responsibility, as I kept track of births, deaths, and took care of feeding and watering the animals, especially over weekends.

After some time, I felt the urge to return to the call center world. I got a job at Stream International, providing tech support for HP products. It was a solid job that paid well, so I stuck with it for a while. I then moved to Alliance iCommunications, where I sold TV and internet services for Bell Canada to small and medium-sized businesses through cold calling.

Eventually, I found myself returning to Outback Steakhouse once again, but this time on the front of house as a server. This became one of my all-time favorite jobs. I enjoyed the fast-paced, customer-facing environment, and it was a welcome change from the call center grind. However, I soon found myself bouncing back into the call center world at the Bradford Exchange, where I cold-called customers about collectible items, including baby dolls. I also worked at TD’s call center, activating Visa cards and trying to sell balance protection insurance. However, that job didn’t last long either—it just wasn’t the right fit for me.

The turning point came when I joined Bell Canada’s call center, where I worked selling phone and internet services to incoming customers. I spent a short amount of time there, but eventually, I got bored and made a major decision: I was going to move out west with a few friends. That decision led me to EDS, a company providing tech support for Bank of America employees. It was a different role, offering a change of scenery and a chance to expand my skill set.

My time at EDS and Bell Canada, with all the back-and-forth from Ontario to Alberta, helped me realize that I was ready for something more stable. I settled in Alberta and took a position with Long View Systems (LVS), a tech company, as a Logistics Coordinator—a fancy name for shipper/receiver. While the title wasn’t glamorous, it got my foot in the door, and over the next 12 years, I worked my way up, eventually leading the Cisco team. The company fostered growth, and I found myself constantly learning new things, developing both professionally and personally.

After leaving LVS, I took on a role at Softchoice as a Cisco Enterprise Agreement (EA) Sales Specialist. This job felt like the perfect fit. I loved the work, the company, and most importantly, the people. I thrived in the collaborative environment and the challenges it presented. Then, one day, a recruiter from another company reached out about an opportunity. After some initial conversations and interviews, I found myself embarking on another new chapter, this time leading the Cisco Enterprise Agreement Customer Success Manager team. I am still there to this day and it has been an amazing experience.

From walking door-to-door in the cold winters of Ontario to leading a remote team today, my journey has been nothing short of transformative. I look back with gratitude at each job, no matter how big or small, that helped me learn valuable skills, develop resilience, and understand the importance of persistence. I am where I am today because of the experiences, the people, and the lessons learned along the way.

Each role I’ve had has shaped me, and though my path has been far from linear, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every step, every challenge, and every leap of faith has led me to this point—and for that, I am thankful every single day.

Why We Should Appreciate What We Often Take for Granted (Blog #13)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

We live in a world filled with luxuries—many of which we don’t even recognize as such until they’re taken away. It’s easy to forget how lucky we are to have simple comforts at our fingertips. We live in a time where convenience is king, and everything from fresh water to warm showers and a fast internet connection is often expected, not appreciated. But what would happen if we suddenly had to go without one of these daily conveniences for a few days? How would our perspective change once we got them back?

Let’s take a moment to explore how being without something we consider a luxury can reset our appreciation for the things we often take for granted.

The Case of the Water Shortage

Imagine you’re in a situation where the tap water you rely on every day suddenly isn’t available. Maybe there’s a temporary water outage, or perhaps you’re traveling in an area where access to clean, drinkable water is limited.

At first, it feels inconvenient. You don’t have the comfort of a steady stream of cold water from the fridge whenever you need it. Instead, you’re left with bottled water or—if you’re really unlucky—only lukewarm, sometimes murky tap water. For a day or two, you make do. You drink the water, but you can’t help but think about how much easier it would be if the cold, crisp water from your fridge were available. But then, as the days go by, you begin to realize something: you really miss that luxury.

When the water supply is restored, that first glass of ice-cold water feels nothing short of miraculous. It’s so refreshing that it feels like a tiny moment of indulgence. You appreciate the taste, the chill, and the clarity of the water in a way you might have never done before. It’s amazing how something so simple, like clean, cold water, can feel so precious when it’s been taken away, even for just a short period.

The Lost Luxury of Hot Showers

Now imagine going a few days without a hot shower. Maybe there’s a plumbing issue at home, or you’re roughing it on a camping trip, where you’re forced to wash with cold water from a stream or a cold outdoor shower.

At first, it’s bracing. Your body recoils as the cold water hits, and you rush through the experience to get it over with. It’s uncomfortable, and frankly, not pleasant. But as the days pass, your body starts to get used to it. You adapt to the discomfort and move through it.

But then, after a few days, when you finally step into a warm shower again, the sensation is extraordinary. The warm water feels like a luxury you never truly understood before. The steam rising, the softness of the water on your skin, and the comfort of being cocooned in warmth make it feel like you’re stepping into a spa. You realize you’ve been taking it for granted. You begin to savor every drop, knowing how much more precious it feels after having to go without it.

The Reality of Limited Internet Access

In today’s digital age, we often forget how connected we are to the internet. Whether it’s for work, entertainment, or staying in touch with loved ones, most of us rely on high-speed internet almost every moment of the day.

Imagine, for a moment, that your internet is out for a few days. Perhaps it’s a tech glitch, or you’re in a remote area where internet access is limited. Initially, the silence is deafening. You can’t binge-watch your favorite shows. You can’t scroll through social media. You can’t instantly connect with friends across the globe.

At first, it feels like an inconvenience. But after a few days, the absence of internet access forces you to slow down. You begin to focus on other things—reading, journaling, enjoying the present moment. Then, when the internet is finally restored, the feeling of scrolling through a fast-loading webpage or downloading a movie in seconds feels almost euphoric. That lightning-fast access you once took for granted now feels like an incredible luxury. You realize how much time, energy, and comfort the internet provides, and you become more mindful of its role in your life.

The Simple Joy of a Comfortable Bed

How many of us have ever struggled to sleep on an uncomfortable mattress or in a place that doesn’t feel like home? Maybe you’ve slept on an air mattress that slowly deflates, or stayed in a hotel where the bed was hard as a rock. You toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position, but it’s impossible. You can’t get restful sleep, and it leaves you feeling exhausted, irritable, and unproductive the next day.

Now, think about the last time you climbed into your own bed—your own cozy, soft mattress with just the right amount of support. The feeling of lying down and sinking into comfort, feeling the softness of your sheets, and the warmth of your blanket—it’s a luxury that we often forget to appreciate until we’ve been deprived of it. After a few nights of uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, that first good night’s sleep in your own bed feels like pure bliss. You feel refreshed, recharged, and more appreciative of your comfort.

The Importance of the Everyday

These examples show how much we often take for granted—water, warmth, comfort, connection, and nourishment. It’s not until we’re temporarily without these things that we realize how much they enhance our lives.

Life is full of luxuries that we often overlook in our day-to-day routines. The comfort of a warm home, the security of good health, and the ability to walk into a store and buy whatever we need—these are all privileges that we should stop and appreciate. The next time you experience a moment of inconvenience or discomfort, take a moment to reflect on how good you have it. And when you return to your everyday comforts, let that feeling of appreciation linger.

Because the luxury of the everyday is what makes life truly rich. We just need to remember to savor it.

The Life-Changing Question: What Would You Do Differently Today? (Blog #12)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

If you woke up today, and in the blink of an eye, you had a near-death experience—be it a heart attack, an accident, or something life-altering—what would change for you? How would your priorities shift? Would you live differently, love more freely, or change your habits? Most people, when faced with such a moment, would immediately rethink their choices, their lifestyle, and their health. But here’s the big question: Why wait for that near-death moment to make those changes?

Today Could Be the Day

The reality is, today could be the day that something unexpected happens—something that changes the course of your life in an instant. It’s not meant to be a scare tactic; it’s simply the truth. Whether you experience a heart attack, an accident, or any number of other life-threatening situations, we often realize too late the things we should have been doing all along.

Yet, how often do we ignore the warning signs? How often do we put off health, lifestyle, and wellness changes because we believe there’s always a tomorrow? It’s a dangerous game we play with our lives when we continue to delay what we know we should be doing.

The Health Crisis We Can’t Afford to Ignore

Let’s face it—our nation is in a health crisis. From heart disease to diabetes, from obesity to mental health struggles, the statistics are staggering. The fact that chronic diseases are taking more lives than they should is not a reflection of bad luck. In many cases, it’s the result of years of unhealthy choices: poor diet, lack of exercise, stress, and neglect.

But here’s the key: these diseases don’t have to take us by surprise. Most health conditions that lead to heart attacks, strokes, and other life-threatening conditions are preventable. Yet we continue to ignore the steps we can take today to improve our future health. It’s not enough to wait for a wake-up call, because, by then, it might be too late.

What Would You Do If You Knew You Were Going to Die Tomorrow?

Imagine for a moment that you knew you only had one more day to live. What would you do differently? How would you treat your body, your mind, your relationships? Would you start eating better? Would you finally take that walk you’ve been putting off? Would you talk to your loved ones more openly?

Here’s the real kicker: we don’t have to wait for that “last day” to make meaningful changes. We have the opportunity to make those choices today—before we’re forced to face the harsh consequences of neglecting our well-being. If you can see the potential in changing your life, why not begin right now?

The Power of Now: Why Waiting Is the Real Danger

When it comes to our health, we often rationalize that there’s plenty of time to make changes. After all, we’re young (or not that old yet), or we don’t feel any immediate effects. But every day we delay is a day we’re putting ourselves at risk.

It’s easy to become complacent when things feel okay. But remember, a healthy lifestyle isn’t just about avoiding major medical events—it’s about giving yourself the best quality of life possible. We need to take action today—not because we’re scared, but because we deserve to live healthier, longer, and with more vitality.

What You Can Do Today

If you could be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself starting right now, would you do it? The truth is, you can. Here are a few simple steps to start living better today:

  1. Mind Your Food Choices: Nourish your body with whole, nutrient-dense foods. Cut back on processed foods, sugar, and empty calories. Every healthy choice compounds over time. This is a struggle for me, and I fight the good fight daily.
  2. Get Moving: Exercise isn’t just about weight loss. It’s about increasing your heart health, boosting your mood, and maintaining mobility. Aim for at least 30 minutes of activity, at least three times per week
  3. Prioritize Your Mental Health: Stress, anxiety, and burnout can take a massive toll on your physical health. Start practicing mindfulness, meditative breathing, or journaling to clear your mind and recharge.
  4. Sleep Well: Never underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep. Sleep is crucial for healing, hormone regulation, and overall well-being.
  5. Get Regular Checkups: You don’t need to wait for a crisis to see your doctor. Regular health screenings help catch problems early before they become unmanageable.

Live as If Today Is the Only Day You Have

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you have done differently yesterday? Would you have taken better care of yourself? Would you have spent more time with family? Would you have pursued your dreams instead of waiting for “the right time”?

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to wait for that moment of realization to make the changes that could save your life. The truth is, today is all we have. And it’s in your hands to take action now—before it’s too late.

The choices you make today determine the quality of your life tomorrow. Don’t wait for a health scare to push you into making changes. Choose to live healthily, fully, and intentionally right now. Your future self will thank you for it.

Take the First Step Today

If not now, when? If not you, who? Don’t let a near-death experience be the thing that wakes you up to the importance of living well. Start making small, consistent changes today. Your health, your happiness, and your longevity depend on it.

Live as if today is your opportunity to change, because, in a way, it is. Today is the day to save your life.

Embracing My True Self: The Journey to Authenticity (Blog #11)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

It was a Thursday morning, 10 a.m., and the panic attack was starting to creep in, as it often did that week. The familiar tightness in my chest, the racing thoughts, the overwhelming sense of dread. This wasn’t the first time that week—far from it—but it still hit hard. I had learned by now that when this happened, I had to prepare, to somehow collect myself for the day ahead.

While I tried to steady my breathing, I found myself chatting with a friend, discussing the idea of taking the next week off work. The thought of stepping away to unwind and recharge seemed both essential and impossible. Could I really afford it, given the pressure of everything on my plate? My schedule was packed, and the idea of leaving so abruptly gnawed at me. But I also knew something had to give. I couldn’t keep going at this pace.

After talking things over with my wife and my friend, I spent some quiet moments reflecting. The decision to take the week off was not easy, but in that moment, I realized it was necessary. I had 27 meetings scheduled for the week ahead. Could I have just pushed through, kept the momentum going, and told myself it wasn’t so bad? Maybe. But if I didn’t step away, if I didn’t pause now, I feared I’d reach a breaking point I couldn’t come back from.

I needed to protect myself, to acknowledge my limits. So, with a deep breath, I decided to request the time off. There was a small sense of relief in making that choice, though doubt still lingered. Was this the right call? Was I just taking the easy way out?

But I knew it wasn’t about ease. It was about survival. It was about choosing to take care of myself before I got to a place where I couldn’t. And I had support—my boss, my teammates—they all had my back. When I told my boss, he said something that stuck with me: “Our team is firing on all cylinders right now. It’s a good time to take a break while things are running smoothly.” His words, simple as they were, felt like a lifeline.

Still, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I submitted my PTO request—less than 48 hours before the week began. It was unorthodox, but I was met with understanding. I wasn’t sure how it would all play out, but for the first time in a while, I felt like I was making a decision that was for me.

What did I do with a whole week off, with no plans in sight? I took the opportunity to rebuild, to give myself the space I needed to reset. I knew that if I didn’t actively make the most of this time, I might squander it—or worse, let it slip by without gaining anything from it. So, I decided to create a new routine, one that would help me rewire my brain and shift my focus in a few key areas.

I began with the simple decision to wake up at 5 a.m. every morning, giving myself a fresh start before the world began to pull at me. The first hour of my day became a sacred ritual—each part of it intentional, a step toward a better version of myself. I started with 20 minutes of exercise, just enough to get my body moving, to shake off the lingering effects of stress and fatigue. Then came 20 minutes of reflection and meditation, where I allowed myself to breathe, to check in with how I was feeling, and to find a moment of peace before the chaos of the day. Finally, I dedicated another 20 minutes to growth—whether reading a book, taking an online course, or learning something new that expanded my mind.

By the time that first hour was over, I felt ready to tackle anything. The physical movement, the stillness, and the learning created a solid foundation for the day ahead. I found myself starting work earlier, using the quiet of the morning to dive into projects I enjoyed—those I often didn’t have the time or energy for during a typical workweek. These early hours gave me the focus I craved and the space to align myself with the tasks ahead, helping me work with more intention and clarity.

It wasn’t just about productivity, though. It was about reconnecting with myself, creating a rhythm that nurtured my mind, body, and spirit. By the end of the week, I didn’t just have a clearer head—I felt a renewed sense of purpose and balance that had been missing for far too long.

This wasn’t just a break I needed because of burnout—this was something deeper, something different. It was a moment of reflection, a call to reconnect with myself in a way I hadn’t in a long time. If you find yourself struggling, I truly encourage you to take a step back, to carve out some you time, and to thoughtfully consider what you need to start feeling better.

It’s not always easy, and it’s not always obvious, but you have the power to turn things around. If I can do it, if I can take that step toward healing and clarity, then you absolutely can, too. There’s no perfect roadmap, but there’s a path forward—one that starts with making the decision to invest in yourself. Your well-being matters, and even when it feels daunting, taking that first step can be the catalyst for real change. Do it.

One Day, Boys. Day One. (Blog #9)

/ Rick / Leave a comment

One Day, Boys. Day One.

One day, boys, I hope to make you proud of the man I will become. If not, the man I am today, then perhaps the man I will be tomorrow. I’ve spent a lot of time trying my best, living one day at a time. But I’ve come to realize that while we must live each day fully, true long-term success is built on a vision for the future. So, how can you truly succeed if you only focus on the here and now, without looking ahead? One day, boys. One day.

Day One.

But today is not just any day. Today is Day One.

Tomorrow is Day One.

Yesterday was Day One.

And every day you wake up, it will be Day One.

Remember that boys, when you lay your head on your pillow at night. Reflect on your day and ask yourself, “Was today a good day?” No matter the answer, guess what? You get to try again tomorrow because it’s Day One once more.

If your answer is “yes,” take a deep breath. Appreciate that you’ve done well, rest easy, and let your body rejuvenate for tomorrow. But if your answer is “no,” don’t get caught in the web of regret. Don’t stay up replaying the day in your mind, trying to figure out where you went wrong. That won’t help you move forward. Instead, go to sleep, reset, and let tomorrow be the opportunity to try again. Because it’s Day One.

You see, boys, each day is both a new beginning and a continuation of everything that came before it. Day One.

Is it the start of something new or the continuation of a lifelong thread of days?

In a way, it’s both. Every day is a chance to start fresh, but it’s also a chance to build on everything you’ve done so far. Even when it feels like you’re not getting anywhere, know that each “Day One” counts. Every small step you take, every little choice you make, is a stitch in the fabric of your life.

And yet, there’s something profound in this idea of Day One. Each day, you are given a blank slate, a chance to rewrite the story of who you are and who you will become. Every sunrise brings with it the promise of new beginnings, new challenges, and new triumphs.

But here’s the thing, boys: there will come a day when it’s your last Day One. You might not know when it will come, but one day, it will. The reality of that thought can seem heavy, but it doesn’t have to be a source of fear. Instead, let it be a call to action, to truly live each day as if it’s your last, to embrace every moment with intention, with gratitude, and with purpose.

Some might look at this perspective as a reminder of mortality, and yes, it is. But in truth, the idea that each day could be your last gives it a beautiful urgency. It transforms each “Day One” into an opportunity to live fully, to make the most of the time you have. It compels you to act, to seize the day with both hands and appreciate the gift of waking up again.

Day One, Boys.

Day One is not just a mantra. It’s a mindset. It’s about living with intention, always striving to be better, and understanding that perfection doesn’t exist, but progress does. So, if today wasn’t perfect, that’s okay. It’s just Day One. You’ll do better tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Every day is Day One, and every Day One brings you closer to becoming the person you’re meant to be. So don’t wait for “one day” to start living the life you want. Start now.

One day, boys, I’ll look back and hope I made you proud. But until then, every day will be Day One. And that, in itself, is something beautiful.

My Bipolar Brain is Not Alone, Neither Are You (BLOG #8)

/ Rick / 2 Comments

Over the past decade, my mental health journey has been a rollercoaster for both me and my family. Restarting my blog serves two important purposes: to document my personal journey to process and reflect, and to create a collection of stories for my children to read in the future. These stories will help them understand the struggles their dad faced and, hopefully, learn from them. There’s a good chance they may go through similar experiences, so equipping them with these insights now might be helpful down the line.

Throughout this journey, I’ve been prescribed countless medications, spent hours with psychologists, and even more with my psychiatrist. I’ve undergone marriage counseling and attended numerous appointments with my family doctor. Over the course of my journey, I was recently diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. This diagnosis didn’t happen overnight; it took years of working with mental health professionals to understand what was going on in my mind. For many of us with bipolar II, depression tends to occur more frequently than manic episodes. This is where the term “manic depression” originates.

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that bipolar disorder can shorten life expectancy by an average of 9.2 years, and that up to one in five individuals with the condition tragically take their own lives. I’ve come to understand that bipolar disorder is a serious illness and often misunderstood.

I’m not sharing this to seek sympathy or have anyone feel sorry for me. My hope in sharing my experiences is to encourage at least one person to reach out for help. It’s been a frightening journey, but one I’ve never had to face alone. The support of family and friends is crucial when dealing with any serious health issue, especially with mental health, where understanding the nuances of different diagnoses is key. Mental health isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. If you’re struggling, I urge you to talk to someone you trust and make an appointment with your doctor. As the old Chinese proverb says, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

So, what’s next? After years of struggling to understand what was going on in my brain, I finally have answers and a plan in place. This doesn’t make everything better and disappear, but I now have a plan. My plan includes medication, therapy, and regular appointments with my psychiatrist to make sure I stay on track. While it doesn’t necessarily make everything easier, having a clear plan gives me hope and helps me wake up each day with the belief that a better day is possible. The love and support of my family also gives me the strength to move forward with a positive mindset.

If I’ve seemed distant or different lately, it’s because I have changed. I’m not the same person I was ten years ago, or even a year ago. And a year from now, I’ll be a different person again. Life has a way of throwing challenges our way, and when it does, you take the hit, adjust, and keep moving forward as best as you can. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please reach out to someone. And if you feel like there’s no one, you’re mistaken. If you’re still reading this, you have me, and I’m here for you. You’re not alone, just like I’m not alone.